Pieces of Me

So, I found out today that I eat my cereal like my dad.  My dad has been dead for 19 years now, and I run into one of his brothers…my uncle…in the grocery store tonight.   It was the first time I have seen him in quiet a while.  But, we were talking about random stuff…not sure how we came to this topic actually, but he said that my dad used to add only enough milk to wet the cereal, and he never drank it.  Just like me.  He said they used to call him milk bone because he had brittle bones.  He told me of my dad breaking his arm twice…once when he fell off something(can’t remember what he said), and again when he hit some guy in a fight.  He has no idea how those simple little conversation pieces hit me like a wave and bring on so many feelings/issues…more than they should I guess 19 years after my dad dies.  I shouldn’t still be in this place.

As you can guess, the point is not about the fact that I eat cereal like my dad.  It’s about so many more things…the fact that I don’t know these little things like this…I don’t have anyone to tell me these things…I wonder how many more ways I am like him-good and bad…I really, truly miss him-even though times were not good-not good at all-right before he died…I miss having the opportunity to grow up with his family…I hate the fact they essentially abandoned my brother and I…I hate that I feel anxious and sad and nervous when I see any of them,  instead of feeling loved…I hate feeling like the opportunity to reconnect is there and I cannot   won’t take the step forward to actually do it…I hate not being worth him sticking around for…I hate not being worth his whole family sticking around for…I hate that one encounter brings me right back around to this.  Again.

I am actually finishing this post a week and a half after starting it.  I erased it-or thought I did-because I thought it was too jumbled.  But when I came back today to start another post, it was saved in my drafts.  A sign I should just post it…so, I somewhat finished it and I’m posting.  Forgive the randomness…

Thank God!  I swear, last week was awwwwfuuuullll!  Emma is finally feeling better and headed back to school this week.  Rambo seems to be just fine although it still looks pretty nasty in that area.  And Tim….well, Tim is having an OK day today.

He went back to the doctor on Monday because he was still running a fever.  Nonstop.  She ran a full blood panel on him and his viral levels were well out of the normal range.  So, that coupled with the symptoms he was having led her to be concerned he may have meningitis.  Again.  He had it about six years ago and it is not a road I ever wish to go down again.  Horrible!!!  So, she sent him straight to the ER for a spinal tap.  Of course,  I freak!  I am headed out the door to pick Emma up from school and am still in my just rolled out of bed clothes!  So, I call his Mom to head to the hospital to sit with him while I get Emma, shower, throw on some clothes, drop Emma off with Granny and I make it to the hospital just in time to see them starting the spinal tap.  I tell the doctor (Tim has already told them) they will not be able to do it that way and they will have to send him to radiology.  They had to last time.  Tim has some problems with his spine that doesn’t allow them to take a sample the easy way.  They have to send him to radiology where the length of the needle doubles and so does the price!  So, after two more unsuccessful attempts of jabbing his spine with a needle, the doctor concedes that he is not going to be able to perform the task himself, we go to radiology.  They ended up sticking his spine six times before they finally got a sample.  SIX TIMES!!  Fast forward two hours….he does not have meningitis. 

But I tell you, there is some monster virus out there that is kicking some butt!  Some kind of super bug or something!  So far, I have been able to escape its wrath, but I’m not sure how.  For the last two weeks my house has been covered in cooties!

Hopefully hurricane season is over here.  I know it’s just a matter of time before the winds start to blow again, but maybe they will be gone for a looong time!  How’s that for optimism?  HA!

Can you tell Tim doesn’t feel so hot here?  Temp is like 101.  But doesn’t Emma look happy?!

My little mouse “eating” her cheese!  I made this from some foam Tim brought home from work.  I thought it was the perfect basket for a trick-or-treating mouse!

Our pumpkins this year…

Hope you all had a fun-filled Halloween this year!!

but it’s pouring at the Edgar house!  What a week.  Emma has been sick since Saturday night…running a fever, stomach pains, stuffy nose, sore throat, coughing, two trips to the doctor (so far) and almost $80 in medication.  I think we may finally be seeing some improvement.  She slept all night…a 180 degree turn from the night before when we were up with her crying from stomach pain.  Turns out, it was a reaction to her medicine…changed that up and things are much better! 

Rambo had to have emergency surgery in the middle of all this yesterday.  He had a ruptured anal gland.  Dis. Gus. Ting!  The doc had to sedate him and go in and clean it out.  He was back home by the evening, but so out of it! 

Don’t get me wrong, they are both worth every penny to get them well again.  But.  The Edgar wallet took a serious beating this week.  And I refuse to ask what else could go wrong because as sure as  I do, we will go from downpour to full on hurricane status!  My nose is already getting stopped up, so I’m not even going there!

But seriously…

Things have to be on the upswing…right?

We have looked at this site for the last couple of days and are completely disturbed.  Tim laughed so hard last night I thought he was going to throw up!  Where do these people come from?!?!

www.peopleofwalmart.com

We are making it an annual tradition to spend the day at Denver Downs Farm every October.  We have so much fun and there are so many activities for Emma to do.  It’s great family fun…hard to find these days!

We got turned around in the hay maze.  You were only allowed to make left turns to find your way out.  Emma decided it was more fun to make you own rules!

How much fun does this look like?!?!  Running through the corn maze…she just looks so carefree to me.  Exactly what I want her childhood to be…never having a worry in sight.

My sweet, sweet girl waiting for the hayride to carry us out into the pumpkin field.

“I want this one Mommy!”

First game of the season…Emma’s first Clemson game. I was more excited because this was our first time taking Emma than I was about the actual game. It was hot…not football weather at all, but very typical of the early part of Clemson football. So, sweaty we were! We grilled hamburgers before and hung out with friends at Miss Linda’s camper.

And blew some bubbles to keep someone entertained! Doesn’t she look so happy? Oh to be that carefree again…..

The most exciting 25 seconds in college football!!!! The Tigers running down the hill!!!

Cheering with her Daddy…he was SO PROUD!

And then….

5 minutes into the second quarter….

Lights out!

How in the world she could sleep through all that noise I will never know!

Great times! Next game is Thursday night against Georgia Tech…Let’s go Tigers!!!

and all is well! She did wonderfully. She charmed all the nurses, made everyone laugh, took the finger prick like a champ and made sure the doc was well aware of how intelligent she is before we left! She continues to be in the 25th percentile for her age in height and weight…which is fine for her…and comes in at 32 pounds and exactly 3 feet tall. No shots today, so Mama did alright too:)